so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize