im drinking this country out of the recession.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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