I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
