how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
