so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
