ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
