I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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