my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
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