at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
