and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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