Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
