it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize