They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
