Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
