I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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