R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
