This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
