people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
