She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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