dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Someone shattered a urinal.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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