He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
