? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
