Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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