I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
