I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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