the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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