Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
What a dumb baby whore.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
