Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
