May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
