worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
