How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
