his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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