The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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