how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
