just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize