Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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