im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
