I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize