By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
