If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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