your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
