He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
3 2 1 whiskey
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
