Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

he referred to my room as the tit cave...

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.

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(775): View more from Nevada

A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian

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(914): View more from New York

Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious

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(310): View more from California

I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.

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(425): View more from Washington

I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone

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(630): View more from Illinois

Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.

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(940): View more from Texas

I gave him a BJ in the shower

(940): View more from Texas

I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there

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(630): View more from Illinois

Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...

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