Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
