i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
