i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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