I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The feeling are messing with the penis
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
