My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
