i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
