I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
