carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
