I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
