She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize