So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
