Nicole vs. Life
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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