I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
