He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
