But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Welp...herpes.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
