enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
try to milk me bitch
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