Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
