Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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