Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
